Archive for the ‘falling tears’ Category

pretty kitty puffy tail

July 17, 2018

pretty kitty puffy tail
used to chase the fishes
spawning in the bathroom stalls
after smoking wishes

an idle curiosity
chemically enhanced
celebrated, gratified
left her soul entranced

admiring advances
worn in favorite fashion
draped across the catwalks
as they moved her to the passion

kitty kept a private purr
silent to desire
clawing, scratching, constantly
as if consumed by fire

all that’s left of kitty now
litters sad confessions
seeking dispensation
for abusing her obsessions

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missing lisa

June 5, 2018

i am left with so few words
to know a voice that steadied me
supported me, befriended me
will no longer speak anew

at this moment, i can only cry
selfishly, thinking of the loss
of all she had left to say
of all she had left to share

still, in this proper grieving
i can hear her: you’ll be fine
don’t make such a thing of it
everything will work itself out

and, in my heart, i know it
i know, like so many others
it’s just what she would say
comforting us through it all

this is who she was to us
a friend, first and always
quick to encourage, inspire
and lift the lowest of spirits

yet challenging us as well
expecting us to be better
as if she knew we could be
as if she saw that best in us

and we knew it, and loved it
looking forward to seeing her
even on those worst of days
when the visit was mandatory

wrap it up, i hear her saying…
you’re not Lennon or McCartney
and i wasn’t seeking sainthood…
i only tried to be a good person

true; although you succeeded
where so many others fall short
which is why, for a little while
all i want to do is miss you

in love’s last words

May 28, 2018

things i rarely spoke of, they used to linger here
deep in the shadows of a good and happy life
so well hidden i never really dealt with them
their consequence, like silence, so easily ignored

perhaps that’s why they stayed, patiently waiting
trusting in a conscience they knew would prevail
and a strangely unwavering faith in redemption
certain they would hear their final exit lines…

i’m sorry; i love you, i will always love you
even though i feel i can no longer stay
even though you feel you have to leave
every promise, every vow, was truly spoken

i’m sorry, though the confession changes little
our stars were as they were; meant for no more
just kids, playing at life, at love, and lost to it
to a fire we had no wish or ability to control

it is the nature of youthful passions to ignite
to set the world ablaze and revel in its warmth
every moment meant for instant consumption
but in it, often, too much of ourselves is exposed

left to the unintended harshness of impatience
and the unforgiving insecurities of immaturity
things are said; thoughtless, empty, even hurtful
the weight of which the heart fails to comprehend

no such thing you would have said can i recall
but i remember my own, i remember your tears
and i remember that crippling soulless feeling
unable to take back, to heal, the wounds inflicted

these things alone singe the edges of the picture
the image of that ‘could have been’ love story
the one the mind rewrites for life’s next chapter
these things, lingering, leaving me always less

that you looked past them, that we parted well
may have allowed me to think i had grown
but i hadn’t, i hadn’t understood what i did
why i did it, or the need for honest contrition

and so these things, they waited, faithfully
waited till today, when i saw your eyes
tearful, looking back at me through another
as a calming voice whispered ‘i’m sorry’

and i was, and i am, and i have been
for all things i said, and all i didn’t say
for the pardonable sin i left unpardoned
unable or unwilling to seek forgiveness

in their leaving, these things will lift me
the shadows they hid among will fade
and i will be reminded of the best i can be
better, because of the love we once shared

2.15.18

February 15, 2018

i cried so much yesterday
no more tears have i today
no more sadness, no more pain
numb to all my thoughts sustain

for a moment, drawing breath
contemplating life and death
everything, it all turned on
shots rang out, and all was gone

in this void, we’ll hold debate
face a fiend, his gun, his hate
find a cause, impose a cost
and say prayers for those we’ve lost

though it cannot right this wrong
let it help those hurt be strong
give us faith and peace of mind
as true justice be inclined

and when we recall those felled
take us to those thoughts first held
of what we ourselves would give
for this gift we have to live

it

December 27, 2016

i had it once
but let it go
to dream, to chase
youth’s quid pro quo

it reappeared
a time or two
but older then
i’d work to do

and as approached
my middle years
while conquering
my greatest fears

came face to face
with it once more
yet let it pass
as if unsure

till age arrived
to find me scared
of feelings held
but undeclared

which, withered now
reveal a cost
beyond the prize
of any lost

as i grieve not
for what was then
but dread, instead
it comes again

liar, liar

July 8, 2016

liar, liar, pants on fire
you knew all along
how and what you shared by phone
was very clearly wrong

liar, liar, you told us
you had no idea
what was secret, what was not
wasn’t really clear
 
liar, liar, you came clean?
nothing was held back?
turns out they’ve found plenty more
for terrorists to hack

liar, liar, just one phone?
used to help save time?
sounds like you just fibbed a bit
to help conceal a crime

liar, liar, never fear
praise the FBI
even though you broke the law
they’ve got no case to try

liar, liar, pants on fire
can’t say it’s surprising
yet for all, on either side
it’s so demoralizing   

in donation

June 17, 2016

in the wake of hatred’s ignorance
a trail of blood has stretched for blocks
flowing from the heart of unseen wounds
to plastic bags filled with hope and healing

tired, hot, and hungry – it waits
offering itself, body by body
purely human in essence and gesture
yet divine in its life-sustaining nature

it is us; stripped bare to the soul
in tearful flight past race, creed, and gender
to the arms of brothers and sisters unknown
holding each other, as families do

here, amidst this selfless sacrifice
walks the Creator, unrecognizable
inspiring as much by his presence
as by his brief but powerful anonymity

the anti social media

February 1, 2016

the masses, in mobs unruly
once the basest of our nature
tending blind toward fear and hate
are now trending obsolete

consumed by new technology
overwhelmed by those within
they fall bitter, broken pieces
to their lowest and most common

from these fractured empty remnants
self empowered and entitled
come new voices, unrestrained
without conscience or consensus

in their words, the angst of impulse
runs so roughshod over reason
it dwarfs the worst intentions
of a torch-lit pitchfork horde

no empathy, no sympathy
no debate or paused reflection
need delay these brand new statesmen
to the market-share that makes them

from their fringe of isolation
they flow easy to a mainstream
which now ‘friends’ to keep its status
all a twitter with live feeds

disconnected, disconcerted
our humanity, so fleeting
finds this evil entertaining
in its well-liked viral form

and our face-to-face discussions
ever brief in their duration
are consigned to tears and questions
as society erodes

memories of a distant sky

September 29, 2014

a morning sky so blue
van gogh would bleed the hue
and bare but for that light
which takes the soul of night

life rising to these hours
amidst these metro towers
may first have missed the sight
of smoking gray and white

a thick and billowed spout
from stories up poured out
or so it seemed to me
at distant memory

a fear, it gripped at first
that known, that we dread worst
and stopped upon my heart
what healing time could start

compelled, i closer drew
till what came into view
was merely nature’s shroud
a bloated, shaded cloud

a storm, but not yet here
positioned to appear
as if some fireball
igniting heaven’s fall

a vision, dark and lost
of innocence, its cost
and knowledge gained in years
where fell too many tears

looking down

May 30, 2014

have you ever been driving
on the interstate
bumper to bumper at 65

screaming at some idiot
who changed lanes
struggling against an Egg McMuffin

i used to do it all the time
my own mind racing
toward some challenge or confection

moving further and further along
putting distance
between life and its consequences

you have to do that, you know
keep going, eyes up
like the Flying Wallendas used to

there’s too much for the mind below
in the excess weight
of cancerous growths and hesitation

they coexist with our necessities
but we barely notice
provided we follow that one simple rule

and i had, save for the moments
when a loved one fell
adhered, walking with my head in the clouds

walking without fear…or understanding
reaching for the stars
till my journey had felt near its pinnacle

there, from a supposed lofty perch
i just wanted to see
how far, how high, how meaningful the trip

so i did, and i can see it all now
with new clarity
though i rarely find the courage to leave my room