Archive for June, 2018

the rules, part 4 (notes to myself)

June 24, 2018

if who she is…is all you want
despite her imperfections
ask no more of her than that
in return for your affections

never take dominion’s reign
hold it only with consent
give it freely when its sought
but be candid in dissent

leave her freedom with your faith
but expect the same returned
love, though patient, good, and kind
is forever being earned

keep your passions slow to burn
rush no aspect of desire
but with all deliberate speed
take what’s offered of that fire

this, above all else, remember
you’re the shelter in her storm
not a hero, just a refuge
just a place that’s safe and warm

just a place she can recover
find the strength to start anew
so she might, if its required
do the same, in turn, for you

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about last night…

June 17, 2018

she’s a devastating drama
with some tragedy mixed in
wrapped in such a pretty package
it could move a saint to sin

so forgive me for forgetting
to employ what sense i had
as to err is only human
and my judgment was just bad

in the moment, it was perfect
or at least that’s how it seemed
in the act of pure consumption
she was all i’d ever dreamed

but this morning she’s gone crazy
texts are blowing up my phone
and the only thing i’m craving
is some time to feel alone

cause she says she has to see me
and she needs me right away
like she can’t go on without me
like she can’t get through the day

it’s as sad as it is scary
to sense panic in her pleas
as she claims she can’t go home…
oh…look here…i have her keys

missing lisa

June 5, 2018

i am left with so few words
to know a voice that steadied me
supported me, befriended me
will no longer speak anew

at this moment, i can only cry
selfishly, thinking of the loss
of all she had left to say
of all she had left to share

still, in this proper grieving
i can hear her: you’ll be fine
don’t make such a thing of it
everything will work itself out

and, in my heart, i know it
i know, like so many others
it’s just what she would say
comforting us through it all

this is who she was to us
a friend, first and always
quick to encourage, inspire
and lift the lowest of spirits

yet challenging us as well
expecting us to be better
as if she knew we could be
as if she saw that best in us

and we knew it, and loved it
looking forward to seeing her
even on those worst of days
when the visit was mandatory

wrap it up, i hear her saying…
you’re not Lennon or McCartney
and i wasn’t seeking sainthood…
i only tried to be a good person

true; although you succeeded
where so many others fall short
which is why, for a little while
all i want to do is miss you